I will not be defined by my relaionships, but by the way that I care.
Care begins and ends with me, whether it is care for myself or for another being. I am the fount of my care and from that fount I replenish the life around me.
The struggle for a person who has a tendency towards emotional enmeshment is not losing themselves in their care. I have struggled with this with family, friends, business partners, and lovers. And I am learning how to hold my own.
Over the years I have developed my capacity to live alone, to go out alone, to eat alone, to hike alone, to do all the things—alone.
Not too long ago I wrote a poem about it. I will share that poem with you here:
Be That Woman.
The one who goes out alone.
The one who dresses for herself.
Even if you’re married or in a relationship.
Even if you have friends.
Take a table.
Alone.
Occupy it.
Sit there as if you own it.
As if it’s yours—graciously.
Order wine.
Order an appetizer, ya know, the one you “shouldn’t”.
Hell, order two.
Sit there with a book.
Stare into space.
Talk to your waitress. Ask her name.
Defy convention!
Put on your silk—for yourself.
Smear your lips red, then stain them darker with each deeply satisfying swig.
Fill your table with food!
Though couples swoon and pick at their dinners half-heartedly…
Eat.
Savor every Gawd blessed bite!
Read, if you like.
Or simply…
Embody the mystery that is womanhood.
I am 'that woman' and I love it!
I also love companionship in all forms and, at this time in my life, I am making up the rules of what that looks like for me. If you, too, are striking ground that works for you, you might enjoy my most recent article on Elephant Journal.
Besides dating my sweet, sexy self, there are other beautiful beings I will be devoting time to.
I’ll be going on friend dates. In fact, I turned one down this evening with The Songstress in order to write. I may have a slight crush on her, with her dark flowing hair, sparkly golden eyes, and gorgeous heart.
Then there are family dates. Did I mention my mom’s home for the summer? This is a big damn deal! We already committed to walking dates, soaking dates, and gardening dates.
Then we have granddaughter dates which include: singing, taking bubble baths, and eating lots of blueberries. And with the wee one comes my beloved daughter, in whom I am well-pleased.
By some gawd blessed twist of fate I find all this love within my circle, my heart, and occupying my space.
Feel free to check out the full article, if so inspired. And subscribe to my blog to join the journey. Oh, and comments all around and every where feed my writer's heart.
Lotsa love,
~Justice